Are We There Yet?

Have you ever taken a road trip with children, and experienced the familiar impatient cries of “Are We There Yet?"  Or if you haven't had such an experience, perhaps you remember actually saying it,

....over, and over, and over.

My two daughters would start their chorus of “Are We There Yet?” within minutes of leaving, even after telling them it would be ‘hours’ before we'd  arrive to grandma’s house or Disney World.

Yet their excited anticipation over ‘where’ we were going, caused them to ask again, many times...even though they knew the answer.

Did they really think this question held some sort of magical power that would transport us into the future....right to our destination? 

Perhaps they expected the Yoda in me to transpose their question with the wise  ‘We Are Yet There’ and I would then become the best mom ever. 

But alas, these questions did nothing magical, the car did not move faster, and I did not sweetly transpose. Instead I giggled, and reminded myself to thank my parents one day for such patience. 

So what does this have to do with wisdom?

Well...many of us ask “ARE WE THERE YET?” more often then we should. I know I still do. 

Now I don’t drive my parents nuts on road trips with that annoying question anymore...as I am older and wiser (well at least the older part). 

I’ve realized it takes ‘time’ to get to that place I so look forward to visiting. As a busy adult, I cherish this driving time to catch up with some enjoyment reading (not just required school reading!), listen to a podcast or enjoy the scenery I'm usually too busy to stop and notice. 

I even enjoy the stops along the way, such as the gas station; where we buy a favorite snack or souvenir. 

In other words, the trip can be just as fun as the destination!

This can also be true also for life's journey. Each of us have unique destinations. And we can get so excited about ‘that’ destination ahead (goals such as graduating, getting rich, finding a job or relationship, retirement…the list goes on and on.) that some aspects of our 'now' are neglected.

Don't forget about the destination all together though! Not traveling towards a goal can be as tragic as trying to get there too fast. 

Cherishing the ‘now’ as one moves towards the ‘then' helps one to arrive already happy and with fewer regrets. Our greatest regrets are often for those things we didn’t do.

There will always be new destinations until we arrive at that final one…so we might as well learn how to travel happy. So take a deep breath, sit back, smile at the other passengers and enjoy the trip!

It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.                

                                                ~Ernest Hemingway

Road Trip to Wisdom!

"The wise man travels to discover himself." ~ James Russell Lowell

Yep, for those of you too impatient to find wisdom the traditional route (age, experience, reading and prayer), just fill up your tank and take a drive up North to Montana. Be sure to bundle up though because this little town of Wisdom, population of 100, is one of the coldest in the country.

Did you know that Wisdom, Montana has been around for awhile?

The town of Wisdom was named for the Wisdom River (now called Big Hole River) that flows through the town. In 1805 Lewis and Clark, at the confluence of the tributaries of the Jefferson River near the present site of Twin Bridges, decided to name the three streams for the three “cardinal virtues”  (Philosophy, Philanthropy, and Wisdom) of President Thomas Jefferson.

However, Philosophy, Philanthropy, and Wisdom proved to be too much for later settlers, so they changed the names to the Big Hole, Beaverhead, and Ruby. The town did keep the name Wisdom and later a nearby waterway was named the Wise River. Interestingly the other two virtues seem to have been lost entirely in the renaming process. 

Click here to view the source of the text..

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“We are torn between nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange. As often as not, we are homesick most for the places we have never known.” ~ Carson McCullers

Map to Wisdom, MT

Butterfly Wisdom

"The butterfly counts not months, but moments and has time enough." ~Author Unknown

   

What is it that pushes this transformation from clumsy crawl to smooth flight? Seemingly appearing weary from the burden of many feet, this creature oh so slow, wraps itself in patience, knowing or unknowing I cannot tell, hoping for that moment. Not just any moment, but one that will change it's destiny. Perhaps the how is unknown, but the why, instinctive or planned, is because there must be more. Anything must be better than this monotonous struggle and with patience it spins with hopes of new. In time, the awaited moment is birthed and brings its song. Flight feels so free and light, as clumsy is shed for graceful and smooth. It is through much wait that great arrives and through such unpleasantness a beauty is born. Birthed by pain, these fragile wings gain strength to soar and share its beauty to the world. ~j.lauber

                                 

The Butterfly Story  

                                                     

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.  

~Richard Bach                

Being Green

Have you ever felt invisible? Or perhaps you have felt so different that you feel like you don't belong? Being ignored or made fun of are experiences all of us have felt at some point in our lives. We can get so caught up in the pain of rejection that our purpose for living is easily forgotten.

So what do you do when this happens to you? Even one of our favorite frogs has had his moments of feeling invisible...yet he wisely realizes the importance of accepting himself for who he is.

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” ~Maya Angelou

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One day you will look back over your life and everything will make sense...right? One can only hope!

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Old-Fashioned Thanks

Thanksgiving Day has always consisted of at least these three elements: Family, Food and Fun. Although society today has a different definition of family; food now has it's own television channel; and fun has traded in board games for watching football; the holiday still reminds us to pause and thank God for the blessings he bestows upon us all year.  

I found a poem about Thanksgiving called "The Old-Fashioned Thanksgiving" which was written many years ago by Edgar Albert Guest, and couldn't help but wonder how shocked this author would be today. After all, he bemoaned his modern Thanksgiving during the 50's, an era now lauded as  "old-fashioned." 

This stanza stood out to me and I chuckled as I imagined him today watching his great grandkids all sitting around the table texting on their smart phones or playing their Nintendo DS games.

 "...it lives within a world itself and wants to be alone. It has its special pleasures, its circle, too, of friends...Pursuing what he likes the best in his particular way." 

Things change in many ways, yet somehow also stay the same. 

I admit that I tend to be 'Old-Fashioned', yet not so much so that I'm willing to throw out my technology. Whether we have new gadgets, new recipes, or new family or friends, we all usually agree that what we still hold most dear are those things in our lives which were passed on from those who came before us.

My grand-parents are now gone, and of course Thanksgiving dinner is not the same without them. Every year I like to give special thanks for the wisdom and 'old fashioned' values they passed on to me.

The recipes I make are a compilation of my grandparents and other relatives who have gone on before. I smile and think about how I have a modern kitchen and yet the food, though more easily prepared, still holds ingredients tried and true from generations past. Some of the dishes are still served in Grandma's traditional tableware, also passed on from generations past. 

As the family gathers around to carve the turkey, like 'grandpa' used to do, we all quit texting, if but just for a moment, so that we may hold or fold hands in prayer, thanking the Lord for the blessing of each other. Then of course we rush off to watch football while we eat turkey and pumpkin pie. (Now how old-fashioned is that?)

The Old-Fashioned Thanksgiving

Edgar Albert Guest, 1881-1959

(click title above to read poem)

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“Thanksgiving comes to us out of the prehistoric dimness, universal to all ages and all faiths. At whatever straws we must grasp, there is always a time for gratitude and new beginnings."                                                                          ~J. Robert Moskin

More Wisdom of Pain

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Pain obviously is not always physical. Emotional and mental pain is often considered the hardest to endure. My husband and I both served in the Army, and as part of our Veteran's Day celebration this week, we patroned a local restaurant which offered free meals. As I waited to be seated, I watched the many veterans walk past in their different shirts and caps proclaiming which branch they had once served. Though they were all of various ages and personalities, I noticed all of them were smiling that day.

Perhaps, for some it was the thought of getting a free steak dinner but no doubt for most, it was because they were the object of honor today; today was their day to feel special. Whatever the reason, their smiles and laughter struck me. I couldn't help but wonder how many would still be smiling when they left the restaurant that day.

For those limping or carrying canes, one might ask, "Were the disabilities from age or injuries from war?"  My biggest curiosity though was not for those few, but for the rest. Statistics show that many of these carry a secret, whether knowingly or unknowingly, a pain hidden from the human eye, yet as debilitating as those injuries preventing walking. This pain, haunting memories of the past, prevent them from being the person they used to be.

Because you have listened to my story, I can let go of my demons. -from the Japanese folktale, ‘The Tale of Genji’ (Shikibu)

Although I was in the Army National Guard for over three years, I was never called to serve overseas. Never did I have to face the traumatic experiences  many who fought in war have. I can only imagine the pain these returning soldiers must endure on a daily basis, and my heart goes out to them. Thousands return to the United States with PTSD, and many of these, aware something is wrong, are too ashamed to get help.

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Surprising to some, there are many who have never served in the military, who acquire PTSD from traumatic life experiences. The reasons how and why some individuals get PTSD, while others do not, are often puzzling. But regardless of the event causing the trauma, the symptoms, as well as the shame, are often the same. 

When I was first diagnosed with PTSD, I went into a sort of denial not to mention being overridden with guilt. Questions drowned my thought process while guilt taunted me to tears. Guilt because PTSD was for the soldier who had fought a real battle, the brave soldier who had faced death up close and personal, he who had been shot at, captured or tortured; she who had been kidnapped and beaten. Surely not for someone like me. I didn't deserve this diagnosis, it was only for the courageous, the hero, or at least the one who had attempted heroism. Was I flawed? I should be stronger than this!! Yet here I was, experiencing the same symptoms, the same numbness, the same level of depression, the same fears as those who had had faced bloody battles.  

"In war, there are no unwounded soldiers." -Jose Narosky
 

One doesn't have to be in a literal war to acquire PTSD. Life itself can bring battles that we don't always win. Here I was, basically a wounded soldier of life with no victories to brag about. Many times I hid, huddled in my closet, crying, wondering how I could face this world again. I smiled around my family and friends, and yes, there were moments that smile was actually real. But often it was forced, for inside the pain raged. I trusted noone and wondered if I'd ever see the me I used to be again.

The following link to Dr. Frank Ochberg's poem, gives a better illustration of the PTSD sufferer.

My Wounds Are Not For You To See

by Frank Ochberg, MD

There are many out there not quite brave enough to tell their story, but have finally gained enough courage to seek help. Though some cases may seem more complicated, and the healing process moves slow, there is hope. With both professional guidance and support from family and friends, one can learn to truly live, laugh, and love again. Yes, it's true that some scars may always remain, but the pain from those wounds will lessen as you heal, and eventually serve as a life lesson which may also help others. Many wounded warriors, of both the military and life, have learned that a 'real' smile is indeed a possibility once again.

                            Trying to Find My Way Home